He was a very successful businessman, achieving Vice-President by his late 30's, full of confidence and sure of what he wanted from life. As an adult he had never ventured inside a church building until one Sunday morning he took a seat in the back row. On his way in he was handed a folded piece of paper by one of the ushers. As he took his seat and glanced at the piece of paper he was holding he assumed it to be the playbill.
First up was some interactive speaking between someone called the Liturgist and the rest of the people. He could handle that without to much discomfort as he listened in on the words being spoken, not yet convinced of the truth contained in the words. As the back and forth dialogue ended a musical instrument, strange to his ears began to play, it was the organ. He'd never heard the organ played live before and he wondered why this dominant instrument of the middle-ages was still being used in churches today, weren't the other instruments of our culture, guitars, keyboards, drums much cheaper than an organ? But just as this thought was forming in his mind everyone in the congregation grabbed a blue book, stood up and started to sing.
He saw two blue books in front of him and quickly found the one he was looking for, flipping to the hymn number he was puzzled by the musical notation in front of him. He couldn't read music and was uncomfortable with this unnanounced expectation that he would stand and sing. After the song was done he glanced at the playbill and realizing that there would be two more occasions on which he would stand to sing he mentally prepared himself so as not to be caught off guard.
He enjoyed the part of the service where the children came forward, it was "cute," but he wasn't sure that the kids really understood what the well-intentioned adult was trying to communicate to them. "Clearly," he thought to himself, "they mustn't have any teachers in this congregation."
Following the next hymn, which he had looked up while the person up front was praying for the kids, the offering was received. He had braced himself for this, knowing that churches always took money from people at their services. The choir sang well he thought as the ushers passed the plates down the aisles, it gave him time to reflect on how odd it seemed to be sitting on a bench inside a building. "Pews, that's what church people call these benches," he thought to himself. As he wondered why a bench wasn't simply called a bench he was once again startled as music started and everybody stood again. No hymnals this time but everyone was singing, he listened, "Praise God from whom all blessings flow..." not knowing the words he stood there for an awkward couple of moments before everyone once again sat down.
The pastor said it was time to pray, everyone closed their eyes and slouched forward in their seat, it was a Presbyterian church so rather than kneel or stand to pray the people invariable slouched. He enjoyed listening the pastor talk to God about the concerns of the world but wondered why he changed the tone of his voice to do so but once again before being able to finish his thought he was caught off guard as those in the know rattled off the Lord's Prayer. He knew most of it but was embarassed when he started to say, "forgive us our trespasses..." while the congregation uses the shorter, "forgive us our debts."
Surviving the Scripture reading and mostly enjoying the sermon, although he didn't understand why the preacher didn't have either a handout for notes or use of a projection system for his "presentation."
As he checked his playbill again he saw there was one piece of singing left and then something called a Benediction. He knew some Laitn and broke it down realizing it meant "to speak well of." This puzzled him further as he assumed the talk by the pastor was the time of speaking well. He didn't feel the need for another sermon so he slipped out during the last verse of the hymn.
As he made his way to the car he wondered about the experience he had just had. It was uncomfortable, he expected that, it was foreign to his ears, he expected that. The English used in the hymns was an older dialect, not English as used in the contemporary context, he wondered why it hadn't been updated, this was the 21st Centurty that these people were trying to live in. He couldn't understnad why the pastor made no use of modern communication devices (other than the microphone) for his talk, perhaps it was a budget issue, it certainly couldn't have been a conscious decision, not if they were serious about reaching out to the unchurched in their community.
Rattled by the level of discomfort he felt he was sure that he had made the right decision that church was not for him or his family.
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